


Irrational Attachments

by asinner



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drunkenness, Guilty Rick, M/M, Oblivious Morty, Pining, Pining Rick, Sappy Rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asinner/pseuds/asinner
Summary: What was said during Rick's late night phone calls with Jessica while Healthy Morty was away.She encourages him to take action after Morty returns to normal.(THERE'S NO RICK/JESSICA IN THIS. it's all Rick/mortmort!)





	1. Late Night Call

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! I really wanted to write what I believe Rick's phone calls to Jessica were like. So here's the first mini chapter.  
> In the following chapters there will be some very light underage, no sex. Just a warning!

“Jeeeeessssiiiicaaa.” 

Jessica sighed, sinking further into her plush covers. She wasn't quite sure why she hadn't silenced her phone yet, or told Rick to leave her alone. _Guess I'm intrigued,_ she thought, adjusting her satin pajama top and placing the receiver closer to her ear. “Rick, you've already called me twice. What now?” 

Jessica was startled by the prolonged stretch of silence that followed her question, but even more so when she just barely heard a sniffle on Rick's end. 

“He...He left me. Mo-URP-Morty is gone.” 

Jessica wanted to roll her eyes, but pity kept her from doing so despite the fact that Rick couldn't see her. When he'd called before, Rick had been angry. Bitter. This time, he just sounded defeated and...sad.

She shook her head, irritated at her own empathy. Why the hell was she even giving this weird old genius the time of day? It wasn't for Morty's sake, that was for certain. 

“He did. But he's happy, Rick.” 

Rick didn't seem to like that answer, judging by the hoarse sob that practically broke Jessica's ear drum. “W-Without me. Little fucker doesn't need me. Doesn't need his grandpa.” 

Jessica sighed. “You're wasted.” 

“Yeah, URP, so? I'm always--I’m always wasted.” 

“You're looking for an excuse to cry about Morty. You could just confront your emotions sober, you know. Like a normal human being.” 

A beat of silence, and then: “Fu-UGH-ck you.” 

Jessica couldn't help but laugh. For someone who was supposed to be a genius, Rick sure was emotionally stunted. _I wonder what made him that way_ , she thought as she picked at her polished fingernail. 

“Hey. I don't know Morty well, at all. I know he's obsessed with me. But, um, if I'm being real? It seems like he's even more obsessed with you.” 

“Th-th-that's a big, steaming load of horseshit, J-Jessica. He doesn't give a--give a shit. He's found himself some hot--some girl to--”

“Hold on,” Jessica paused, stomach churning with a sick realization. “Are you jealous of the girl?” 

“F-F-Fuck no, that's--” 

“Are you in love with him? With Morty?” 

Rick swore under his breath and hung up. 

Jessica blinked, lips parted slightly in shock as she listened to the monotonous beeps on the other end.


	2. Phone Call Two

The third time Rick called Jessica, he was sober. Well, more so than she had ever heard him. He’d left her about ten inaudible voicemails over the last three days, consisting of pathetic mumbling and the occasional sniffle or belch. 

“Hey,” He mumbled, voice monotone and dejected. 

“Hi, Rick,” Jessica rolled her eyes. “What is it now?”

“I-I-I need a favor. Uh, two, act--URP--actually.” 

“Why would I do you a favor?” Jessica asked, skeptical. Rick groaned on the other line and Jessica held the phone away, grimacing. 

“Be-Because it’s--it’s life and death, Jessica. It’s life and death. Serious--it's some serious sciencey stuff.”

“I don’t buy it,” Jessica said. Her bullshit detector was going off inside of her head, and she crossed her arms. Respecting Rick after their previous phone call was proving to be a challenging task. What kind of normal person wanted to get with their own grandson? But then again, Rick was a crazy scientist. A small part of Jessica wondered, or rather hoped, that he and Morty weren't actually related. 

“You’re a smart girl. I-I get why Morty likes you so much,” Rick inhaled, long and deep, before continuing. “But I’ve got something you want.”

“What is it?” She asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

“I-I-I don't fucking know,” Rick grumbled. “What do you--URP--want? Money? Drugs? Alien semen? What--whatever it is, I've got it.” 

Jessica laughed. Of course Rick was pulling this out of his ass. He was just that kind of guy, it seemed. “Alright. Get me straight A’s so my parents get off my back?” 

“Pssh. Easy.” 

“Cool,” Jessica mused, smiling at the thought of finally pleasing her strict parents. “What are the favors?” 

Rick cleared his throat. “N-Number one. Don't ever mention what I--that weird shit I said to you the other day when I was sloshed. To Morty. You didn't hear it."

Jessica placed a hand on her forehead and groaned, shifting awkwardly. “It’s gross, Rick. You should go to therapy or something.” 

“So--So you won’t tell him?”

“No, Rick, I won’t. I’m not going to get involved in something this screwed up.” 

Rick breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Good. N-Now, here's where you gotta actually do shit. You gotta tell Morty--Healthy Morty, that you miss him. Use your--your womanly charms or something, I-I-I don't fucking know.” 

“Uh, why?” 

“Don't ask. Just do it.” 

“When will my grades go up?” 

“Ugh,” Rick groaned melodramatically. “You're pushy, you know that? Now. I'll do it now. But you gotta--you gotta come through on your end of the deal.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Jessica said, suddenly deep in thought. She thought back to all of the times Morty had missed class or appeared through a neon green portal covered in cuts and bruises, all for his grandpa. “You know, Rick, I think Morty might have a crush on you. Even if he doesn't know it. Ew. That's gross. And weird.” 

Rick snorted, immediately deflecting her observation. “A-Are you kidding? You trying--URP--trying to manipulate me or something? You do know I'm the smartest sentient lifeform in this entire goddamn universe, right? ” 

“Just stating the obvious.” 

“Don’t you dare fucking mention this to him, or you'll pay.” 

“Ooo, scary. Chill out. I'm not going to say anything. I already told you that. All I'm saying is that you're both perverts, so maybe you should talk to him about it or something. I just don't want to, you know, hear what happens after.” 

Rick laughed; a sad, bitter sound. “Just do what I told you to, Jess--Jessica.” 

“Seriously,” She continued, unfazed by Rick's threatening tone. “If you fuck your own grandson, please don't call me and tell me about it.” Jessica hung up before Rick could say another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a really casual project for me, and I hope you're enjoying it!! Thank you for reading!!


	3. Phone Call Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! This is the final chapter. I decided to change the rating of the story to T because it stayed very tame. (Crazy for me, I know!!) Thank you for reading. I LOVE ALL YOU SINNERS!

“Hey,” Rick said, voice quiet. Something had changed in Rick’s tone. His voice was lighter, softer. Uh oh. Jessica sat up, shoving her homework aside (it wasn’t like she had to do it anyway since Rick had somehow changed her grades to 130 percent in each class). 

“Hi,” Jessica said. “You got him back.” 

Silence, and then: 

“Yeah, yeah, I--I did. Got my--my boy back.”

Jessica cringed while fighting back the urge to smile. “Your boy? God, if Morty knew what a secret sap you were he’d probably leave again.”

“Watch--URP--Watch it, kid. I can change your grades back in--in a nanosecond.” 

“You wouldn’t, because I came through.” Jessica smirked. She hadn’t known Rick for long, but she knew almost instinctively that he wasn’t the type of guy to back out of a deal unless the benefits outweighed the risks. 

But his response surprised her.

“Uh. About--about that. Thanks.” Rick groaned, probably to indicate the physical agony that came with a genuine ‘thank you’. “Ugh.” 

“Oh, um, wow. You’re welcome, I guess.” Jessica replied. 

“By--By the way, you were right about the other thing.”

“Oh, God,” Jessica began, head falling into her free hand. “Do I want to know?”

Rick continued, ignoring Jessica's question. “He--the little idiot did have a stupid crush on me.”

“Called it,” Jessica said, glossy lips curling into a self-satisfied smile. 

“D-Don’t get cocky, J-Jessie--”

“Do not fucking call me that.” Jessica snapped. Ew. She abhorred that nickname with every fiber of her being. 

“Yeesh. Wh-Wh-What should I--URP--call you then? J-Dawg? JJ? Jesshy Smeshy--” 

“My actual name, Rick. Call me my actual name.” 

“Laaaammmmeee,” Rick grumbled, and Jessica could practically hear him rolling his eyes. She couldn’t hold back a tiny giggle, but Rick continued without comment. “So, I was shitfaced and I went into his room and--” 

“Nope. No. Stop--” 

“And I kissed him like a fucking idiot, but he liked it, so I left and came back and we--” 

“I’m going to hang up,” Jessica warned, finger hovering over the red button. 

“I didn’t--I didn’t fuck him, Jessica, Jesus. Get your mind out of the gutter. He’s--he’s too young, who do you think I am, a pervert?” Rick barked out a laugh. “Hah, I’m fucking with you. I’m--I’m the biggest fucking perve in the multiverse.” 

“Yeah, Rick, you are.” Jessica said. Why couldn't she stop smiling? This was freakish and most definitely not okay, and yet...she was weirdly happy for the two idiots. “Be good to him.” 

“Duh.” 

She hung up, laughing and shaking her head. “Weirdos.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! Comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
